A little bit about me

Hi, my name is Tasha and I live in a village called Edgerton (in Alberta, Canada) with my husband Shawn, cat Jimi and dog Cinder. We live a pretty simple life in general – Shawn working in construction and I out of our home running my own business called Riese Creative (riesecreative.com). My husband is the hardest worker I know and I appreciate that so much. We’ve done nothing but gain strength with each other since we’ve been married and it’s been miraculous at times!

Now a deeper explanation, the reason behind this blog :

My husband and I have been through allot when it comes to trying to start a family. Two early miscarriages for unknown reasons, one stillbirth at 22 weeks due to a condition called Triploidy (our beautiful daughter Violet), multiple failed IUI’s (two that worked), genetic testing (we’re both perfect), and innumerable blood tests, tears, and dashed hopes. And to top it off, no doctor or genetic councillor can tell us why, I just want to know if we have any hope in this or should we be looking at other options?

Our hope was finally restored when our latest IUI in October 2013 worked. I attribute it to the deer we hit with my little car 15 minutes into our three hour drive to our appointment that morning. I’m pretty sure the car took flight and upon landing jogged my awaiting egg free and started us on the road to success.

The IUI that day was especially painful, as most of them seem to be for me, and took many try’s and a few tears on my end. I consider the more painful ones to be the ones that have a better chance because they must be getting to where they need to be if they’re trying so hard and not throwing in the towel and lying to me by telling me it would be successful.

Needless to say, it was a success. All the ‘symptoms’ that I conjured up in my head during that two week wait could’ve actually been real this time. A few positive at home tests were confirmed with a positive blood test from the fertility office and we were on our way. Hope restored!

Unfortunately our elation was short lived when at our 12 week NT scan – after the genetic councillor explained to us she saw no reason whatsoever for there to be any problems with this pregnancy – we were told by the doctor that our baby had a cystic hygroma of 5.3 mm which indicates a probable genetic abnormality and she was leaning towards Turners Syndrome. She recommended an immediate CVS test to determine what it was for sure.

We had been hit with another shock of our lives. Who would’ve thought something would happen again! I had no idea what Turners Syndrome was and right away considered it a death sentence. I was sure we were going to have to go through the same scenario as we did last time with Violet and I was inconsolable. The CVS was awful and painful and needed to be done twice and I couldn’t stop my body from shaking on that table. My only solace was Shawn holding my hand and telling me how strong I was.

Since finding out about the Turners and that she was a girl we have both covered the whole spectrum of emotions. But this time we both felt a strong pull towards positivity and a good outcome for this little nugget. A few weeks later at our first fetal echo ultrasound we were told that she was progressing towards Hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS). This was our second shock. We knew there was a good chance she’d have a heart problem, but nothing of this magnitude. The cardiologist keeps us optimistic though and tells us the Stollery is the best place in Canada for her to be and the surgeons there are very familiar with this condition and have had many successes.

For me, even through all the bad news and occasional dark days, I’ve experienced an unexplainable light cast over this whole situation that I’m extremely thankful for. I believe part of it comes from God and all the prayers that go up for us creating a serenity in me when it seems impossible. I also think it’s partly our little nugget and her strength telling me she needs me to give her the same in return. We need to fight this together and we’re going to be a success story.